Winter Lights

We had a winter storm last week. The power went out for almost 24 hours. Outside it was so dark and gloomy while inside there was a roaring fire and enough wood to keep it going.

There is something very primal about sitting before a fire. It can be romantic, yes, but it goes way beyond that. We are transfixed by fireplaces. We stare at the flames and wander off on internal journeys, often not remembering where the fire has taken us.

Fire keeps us warm; it keeps the wolves away from the door and helps deliver us from the dark. We cook over fire. Flames are guides, beacons, symbolic of a shining hope, of honor and eternal light.

That night we lit candles of all kinds throughout the house- tapers, tea-lights, pillars, short, squat, colored, white, spiraled and circular. The house was illuminated brighter than it ever was with electric power. It got me thinking about our need and desire for light on physical and energetic levels.
We need light. Without it our mental and physical bodies suffer. In northern countries where the nights seem to last most of the day a large number of the population suffer from SAD – the acronym is certainly suggestive of the mood. Without sunlight our bodies cannot make vitamin D. This can impair the metabolism of calcium affecting our bones and nervous system. Thus, our very structure, suffers. In countries and states where there is more rain than sun, more cases of depression are reported.

The need for light is in our vernacular. We want to “shed some light on the situation” and hope for enlightenment. We want to brighten things up, cast some light on the issue, maybe illuminate the subject and chase away the shadows. We want to lighten up, make light of the matter. Lovers can see the love light in their partner’s eye and the smile and thoughts of a love one lighten up our days. Kind acts make our hearts feel lighter.
And just as much as we need light, we need the darkness. We need to go deep within ourselves to find those areas we need to illuminate. In Feng Shui we look at this as the balance of yin and yang. Yin takes us inwards, to the dark places of inner exploration. Once there, we begin the journey back to the yang, to the more active, outward expressions of what we found internally.

Winter is dark, the most yin time of the year. We instinctively go inwards and deeper into our selves and, like the trees we anchor in and put down roots. We are more contemplative, introspective, we slow down, we plan and we acknowledge the depths of our being. There is truly nothing more powerful than to take the time to examine what we hold within, what we hold dear and what we fear.

The Feng Shui Bagua is a wonderful, practical and inclusive tool to help us on our inner journey. It is a guide. The eight essential life desires are laid out in a grid around the center point of unity. Both a physical and inner journey around our home, around the bagua, will bring an awareness of the aspects of our lives that need the energy of light. Ask yourself some questions. Go within and examine your inner feelings and knowingness. Where are you cluttering, what areas of the house are you avoiding or feeling uncomfortable being in? Are there areas where you feel a strong loving energy or perhaps is there a room where the family squabbles seem to always take place?

Asking these questions and listening to the answers gives clarity to the aspects of our lives that we need to examine to become lighter, balanced and yes, happier and more fulfilled. Where is the light and where is the dark? What parts of our lives are we avoiding? Perhaps conscious awareness of this is akin to shining the light on those dark areas. This is where we need the most illumination.

Moving from the darkness to the light is an incredibly powerful and transformative experience. Whenever I feel blocked, stuck or not as light as I want to be I take this inner journey through my outer space of my home. I feel as if my inner fire is stoked and the wolves will stay away from my door.

Be Still!

Feng Shui may be all about balance and harmony and the gentle flow of chi, but, let’s face it, the holidays aren’t.  And some of us wouldn’t have it any other way.  This is the time of year when we truly welcome the surprises, the hustle and bustle, the last minute rush and the chaotic comings and goings.  Our social life picks up at a dizzying speed, we take on more than we thought we could and we handle the stresses more gracefully than before.  At least, we usually do.  We may vow that this year the holidays will be easier, simpler, close to the heart. This is the year we celebrate the true meaning of the holidays and we finally let go of things and traditions that don’t matter anymore.   At least, we are getting closer. But we are not getting closer to controlling the rushing around of people all around us.   There will be lines in the stores, the banks and the post offices.  Traffic will be heavier than usual.  People will be kinder, people will be greedier. People will get to us.  At least, they will some of the time. And the first thing that we tend to do over the holidays is to neglect ourselves and the ones closest to us. There is no fault in this, no blame.  But it comes with the territory of being too busy, stressed, and overloaded, even if it is a wonderful overload. What we can do, everyday, is create a space for ourselves where we touch the inner calmness, the stillness that brings inner peace.  Take time for yoga or exercise class, practice deep breathing, find a moment alone where you can relax in a hot bubble bath.  Find a nook where all is quiet and you can drink herbal tea or hot chocolate in peace.  Take time to stare into a roaring fire or walk along the beach.  It doesn’t matter- just take time to do nothing, to just be, to connect with that inner stillness. And the reality is, the more we are able to do this the more we are able to sail through the craziness that is happening all around us. Be still.

It feels incredibly wonderful to be abundant.

My many years of practicing Feng Shui has taught me that asking people what abundance means to them is like asking what is the true meaning of Christmas. No answer is really wrong, but there are some that just feel more right than others.

It feels incredibly wonderful to be abundant. Abundance is a gift, a blessing, and a joy. It is the ultimate expression of the yin energy, the female energy, the energy of receiving. This energy is so powerful that the ancient Feng Shui practitioners simply called it “Fortunate Blessings.”

So, since women are the embodiment of yin energy, abundance theoretically should flow easily to all women. But it just doesn’t always seem to. Sometimes this lack can be an illusion – abundance is all around but if we are not mindfully aware we may not see the abundance and the beauty around us. Sometimes it is not an illusion – on a financial level we may not be seeing the money flow in as easily as we had hoped. And then we wonder, do we really have to struggle so much? No, we don’t. We can let go and let things flow.

There is an area, a gua, in our homes that attract and hold the energy of abundance. We can activate this area to bring in the chi, the energy of abundance, with colors, symbols, shapes and intention. But more important, there is a part of us that can hold and attract abundance if we are open to it.

Typically, women have mastered the art of giving. Women give their hearts, their bodies and souls, their time, energy, smiles, comfort and love with little regard to boundaries. Most women do not need more practice in giving, but so many women do need to learn to receive and allow others to give to them. Start small. Instead of brushing off a compliment, or denigrating yourself when one is offered, smile gracefully and own it. Accepting the compliments, the gifts, the goodies and acknowledgements from others will do a lot to allow the energy of giving to turn into the energy of receiving. Become observant of this internal challenge and know that receiving turns into abundance which again turns into the giving. There is nobility, pride, and strength to the art of receiving. It is a gift to you, the female, for all the giving you have done by just being.

In ancient times, the emperors, nobility, royals and spiritual leaders were experts at receiving. It was understood- it was their due. Everyone got the order of things; that abundance belonged to higher mortals and all things flowed naturally and easily to them. Collective beliefs made it so. It was no mistake that the representative colors of abundance were worn solely by the higher classes. In fact, it was against the law for anyone but the emperor to wear the beautiful golden color that universally represents wealth and abundance. The color purple was also reserved for the nobles and those with loftier spiritual pursuits than the common man or woman. Today we intellectually know that none of us are disqualified from receiving the gifts of the universe. We only need to be open to the receiving.

The understanding of abundance is evolutionary thought. The pendulum swings from excess to less is more. Too much leads to clutter; not enough leads to unfulfilled desires. Too much food leads to obesity, while too little food leads to malnutrition and starvation. Too many choices lead to indecision; too little leads to lack of freedom, creativity and expression. There is a difference between wanting to have and knowing if you need it, it will be there.

In Feng Shui we open our homes to the energy of abundance by enhancing our southwest corner with personal symbols of abundance. We add beautiful shades of purples and golds that suggest richer energies. We keep this area clean and clutter free to allow the chi of abundance unrestricted flow. Internally, we open our hearts to receiving the gifts of the universe. And we live with the understanding that true abundance comes from knowing that we do have a choice to receive the opportunities of abundance that flow all around us.

The Moon, the Stars, the Moment!

Tonight was a special night in the winter sky.  A bright, perfectly formed crescent moon was joined by two brilliant planets, Venus and Jupiter.  I stared at that beautiful sight, transfixed, oblivious to all but the moon and stars.  I was so there in that moment that nothing else existed but me, the moon, Venus and Jupiter. I am so happy I took the time as this is a configuration that will not come around for another forty years or more.  If I was to see it, now was the time.

At times like these I am struck by how powerful it is to stop, slow down and just be in the moment.  Life feels so much sweeter, deeper and more meaningful when I slow down and really experience the moment, this one moment that will never come around again.

This holiday season will never come around like this again, either. Enjoy your friends, lovers and family. The greatest gift you can give them is to be totally there with them when you are together. I am practicing being in the moment with my communications. I intend to really listen to what they have to say.  I mean really listen. Not jump ahead to what I think they are going to say or try to finish their sentences, or judge what they are saying.  Because when I am able to hear people, they feel heard.  They feel loved. They feel respected.  And then I feel the love and respect back.  Pretty cool -and it only takes a moment.  One true moment.  It’s not always easy; it takes practice and discipline to catch yourself when your attention drifts. But like other things we practice, it is worth it.  Be in the moment.  It is the perfect gift to you and to others.

The holidays are so much about family so this week we will take a look at our Family gua and see what we can do to make the love light shine.  And don’t forget to take care of yourself this season- it is as much about receiving as giving.  I know this is hard for some of us to accept but it is so true.

My Understanding of Gratitude is evolving.

Earlier in the year I started a gratitude journal. I pledged that every day I would record nine things that I was grateful for. I admit, for the first few weeks this gratitude exercise felt a little
contrived- as though I was searching for things to be grateful for but not really just feeling the feeling.  But with most things, when you put attention to them, subtle shifts and changes begin to occur.

My idea of gratitude did begin to shift and change as I became fascinated by the concept of gratefulness.  When I started, my gratitude was measured against what I had that other people did not have.  At least I had a job, at least I had food on my table, at least the hurricane missed me, or at least I have a car that runs.  Yes, all these things are truly to be grateful for.  But I couldn’t help feeling as if this was just a list of comparisons and I was missing something in this practice. It felt superficial.

I cannot say how this practice deepened for me; perhaps because it is a practice and that is the nature of practice.  One morning as I was taking my dog, Molly, for a walk, I felt a warm breeze on my cheek. I really felt it-warm, caressing, as though it was a lover’s touch.  I felt overwhelmingly grateful for the conscious awareness I had of that breeze.  At that moment I realized that gratitude comes from a state of awareness and acknowledgement of that awareness.

Feng Shui is like that.  It works, that is a fact. When you use Feng Shui you step into awareness. Your eyes, heart and mind open to the changes and you begin to see things in a new perspective.  These new perspectives are like the warm breeze that I felt that morning.  And I am grateful that these warm breezes will never end and will continue to bring me things I am grateful for.

Be grateful, aware, and full of love this  Thanksgiving.

Love Through The Holidays: the Feng Shui Way

The holidays are a wonderful time of entertaining, partying, gift giving and sharing with family, friends and people that will soon become more than strangers.  At the same time, everybody knows
that the holidays are traditionally the most stressful time of the year.  Here come the in-laws and the outlaws, the dizzy aunt and the grumpy uncle, the brother who used to pull your hair and the sister who always seemed to get more than you.  Add to that the office parties, the endless fruit cakes and intake of high calorie treats, the money rolling out, the credit cards adding up and where has the time gone?  What’s happening?  This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, the most loving time of the year, the most joyous time of the year.

The simple truth is holidays don’t have to be a stressful time.  Your knowledge and application of Feng Shui can bring back the magic, love and appreciation of the blessings the season has to give.

Many of our stresses are habitual.   We tend to throw ourselves back into the past, into roles that no longer serve us.  Since the memories of the holidays are so strong in the collective memory of each member of the family there is a tendency to hold onto the past.  We can cherish the past but also honor where we are now – a mature person who has grown and moved forward from the days of old.

• Imagine relating to others as the person you are now not as the timid and shy girl who hid in the corner.

• Imagine knowing how to acknowledge the opinion of others without having to argue, judge or defend.

• Imagine being able to bless and forgive those who hurt you in past – after all, you have the gift of growth while others may still be stuck in patterns you have long outgrown.

• Imagine not having to apologize for you who are

• Imagine feeling okay if the dinner didn’t turn out perfectly or it looks like Charlie Brown was your decorator

As you continue to build and apply your Feng Shui knowledge you can go from imagining to being.   You are an original and there will never be another you.  This, in itself, makes you worthy of love.  And the one person you really need to receive love from is you.  Imagine that possibility!  Because once you love yourself you can only attract others who love you as well. It’s law.

Remember, your home and the objects in it are a metaphor for you and your life.  So if there are things in there that you do not love and/or do not make you happy when you look at the, let them go.  Donate them, throw them out, or put them in storage if you are not ready.  Re-read the article on de-cluttering and make a start on clearing out the old.   Imagine the old stories, the need to please and the need to be perfect going out the door with the discarded items.

Surround yourself with what you love and what strengthens you and you will grow strong with internal love.   One of my favorite tips-

Make sure that the first thing you look at in the morning is something you find beautiful.  This can be a picture, a sculpture, or the way the sunlight shines on the wall.

Tune in next week and we will take a walk around the bagua together, finding ways to bring the beauty and love seamlessly into your holiday season.

Feng Shui and The First Date

Feng Shui and The First Date

So tonight is your first date with a guy you really like and you’re feeling a little apprehensive about going out.  And maybe you’re thinking “I’m not going to invite him into my home on the first date anyway, why should I bother with Feng Shui now?”

Well, since you are dating, you have already started putting out your intentions and attending to Feng Shui consciously or not.  Just like in the movie “Field of Dreams” the principle of “Build it and they will come” applies here.  Your home is your Field of Dreams.  So, by enhancing   your home with the intent of bringing forth romance, partnership, and love, love will appear.   When you create space in your home for love you create space for love in your heart.

Before you go out your door you probably check yourself in the mirror.  Start looking at your home as a reflection of yourself as well, and check it out for the energy of love.   Peruse the front door, kitchen,
and bedroom.  When you first walk in, what do you see?

• Is your entrance way inviting?
• Do you see beauty?
• Is the kitchen clean
  with a sense of bountiful abundance?
• Is the bedroom romantic, soft and warm?

Remember, first impressions are very important. Put yourself in the man’s shoes for a minute.  As you walk
into your home and look at all the rooms ask yourself “If I were a man would I feel comfortable with the woman who lives here?”  The first step is to take care of the obvious.  Make sure your space is clean, uncluttered and (bad) odor free.

Whether you will be returning home alone or have an enchanting man in tow, knowing these basics are
covered can do a lot to reduce first night jitters and tensions.  After all, you have enough to talk about
besides making excuses for the dirty dishes all over the house!
Once you’ve checked yourself in the mirror, both literally and figuratively, and you’re feeling good about yourself and your home, you’re ready to go out your date.  But you still feel a bit off-center and nervous.  What to do?  You can use the power of symbols and intent to calm and center you.  Look to the Bagua and the Elements for what you need.  Here are some tips and you can customize them to suit the unique person that you are:

Use the elements; if you feel like you need to be a bit more anchored take one of your favorite stones with you, either set in jewelry or in its natural state. An earth- tone stone will give you a sense of solid centeredness.

If you feel lackluster and want to add a little fire you can put on a red scarf and accessorize with something sparkly.

Want to feel sexy? Put on that sexy black or animal print bra and go with the feeling!

If you feel like you’re just out there all by yourself and you need some support tonight, look to the helpful people area of the Bagua. Carry a picture or symbol of someone who supports you
in your handbag .  It could be a friend, parent, Spiritual guide or even a card from the local taxi service.

Take a deep breath. You’re centered with sparkle and fire. Enjoy the journey, and happy dating!

Learn more about Feng Shui